why are clothes so expensive like i want a jacket not another limb
Fan: In the season finale, you bit Jared... What did he taste like?
Mark: Like syrup. Fake blood tastes like sugary syrup. I didn't actually bite him! Didja think I snuck in a lick?
Fan (in audience): Chocolate moose!
Mark: Yeah, that's right. He's a chocolate moose.
It’s 79 AD, 23rd of August, which makes Volcano Day tomorrow.
Time-lapse Google Earth GIFs Show Startling Impact of Humans on the Planet
me after running for 30 seconds: i'm still alive but i'm barely breathing
did you know if you rape and drug a minor you will go to jail for 1 year, but if you pirate a shit ton of movies you go to jail for 15 years
now, why don’t you strap on your angel wings and fly me back to my page on the calendar